Things I Did Differently for My Second Baby | Virtual Assistant
As I’m sitting here at my desk writing this, I have 3 days left in my maternity leave. I have a coffee in hand (because sleep deprivation), and I just ordered noise cancelling headphones off Amazon (because WFH life is noisy). As I prepare to come back from mat leave, I thought I’d share some things I did differently for my second baby.
In my pregnancy, I didn’t try to muscle through the symptoms. I took the Zofran, I rested, I wore the comfy clothes. (These $15 sweats from Amazon are amazing). Pregnant people are already going through massive discomfort on an extended basis, so they deserve all the comfort they can get. My maternity pillow was my best friend for all 9 months, and the only time I felt true relief.
I let it be DIFFERENT. Our brains naturally compare experiences, so I found myself thinking “well, with my first baby XYZ happened…” And then I was expecting those things, both good and bad. I finally realized: THIS IS TOTALLLLLY DIFFERENT. The pregnancy, the birth, the baby…the whole enchilada. I had to realize this multiple times throughout the process, but it really helped me to let this be it’s OWN experience. (And man, was it different!)
I went straight to bottle feeding, and didn’t even try breastfeeding. This one was HARD for me to decide. I spent months going back and forth on what I wanted to do. But it became clear over the course of my high-risk pregnancy, that I would need to immediately focus on my OWN recovery after birth. Which meant that breastfeeding was outside of my capacity. I found a website that ships European formula (because that was important to me), and I embraced exclusively bottle feeding because that’s what was right for our family. YES, I felt torn about it. YES, I felt like I’d be judged. But ultimately I knew I was giving my baby the gift of a happy, whole, healing mother. So if you are going to bottle feed, please know it’s a valid option!
Something else I did differently for my second baby - I got a bedside bassinet! The first time I used a playpen near our bed, but I really wanted that close access this time. 10/10 recommend!!! I love having my baby so close to me, without the risks associated with co-sleeping. It makes me feel comfortable but connected. I got this one! (Pro tip: put it on your registry and then use the completion discount for some $$ off. Actually, do that will ALL your baby items)
We’ve been using an app to track his activity, and it’s the BEST thing ever. We use Huckleberry, and we literally use the free version (it’s more than enough if you aren’t using the sleep guidance features!) It allows us to co-parent seamlessly, and support each other in care tasks. You can document feedings, diapers, medication, temperatures…all the fun baby stuff. I LOVE having this in our toolkit this time.
I had a PT appointment scheduled, so it was already set up postpartum. It’s no secret that postpartum care in the United States is DISMAL at best. So I took it into my own hands and made sure to see a physical therapist who specializes in PP care within a month of giving birth.
The last thing I did differently for my second baby is changed my mindset. I know it’s cliche to say you’re more relaxed with your 2nd baby, but the truth is - you are forced to prioritize. And it quickly became really clear in this postpartum that I can either run around STRESSING about being the best mom…OR I can trust myself and focus on enjoying the experiences with my kiddos. My children are going to see their mom LOVING life & having fun. Even if it means there is some more screen time, or we go through a drive-thru for dinner. I no longer care. I want to enjoy this life experience, because we don’t get MORE time with our babies.
So those are some things I did differently for my second baby!
I’ll be back from mat leave in a few days, and I’m excited to hop back into my work. I will be opening new spots for both my packages SOON, and I’m looking forward to launching that.
